Question:

How can I prepare my 3-year-old for our family vacation so we all have a good time?

Answer:

Believe it or not, you can have a delightful trip with young children. (Trust me, I've done it many times with my four!) There are three things you absolutely must do to make it work: prepare, prepare and prepare. Use these ideas from my book Perfect Parenting about traveling with kids.

FUN BAGS: Boredom is one of the main culprits for cranky kids and misbehavior during trips. Prevent boredom by packing "fun bags." Use gallon sized Baggies (or small boxes) to create activity packs. The party aisle of your favorite toy store has lots of inexpensive ideas, such as: tiny plastic animals, Silly Putty, stickers, drawing paper and markers, playing cards, comic books, View-masters, Etch-A-Sketches, and miniature travel games. Cassettes and radio headsets are also great travel companions. To prevent a big mess and confusion, allow only one bag at a time. Require that the bag be returned in tact before another can be taken out. These bags can be used during your entire vacation. If you stay organized, you can use the bags on your return trip also.

MOVE AROUND: Lack of freedom to move about is another of the main culprits for misbehavior during trips. Sometimes, there is little you can do to avoid this problem. The best solution is to keep the kids happy and occupied in their seats. (Re-read solution #1.) In addition, let the kids know in advance the amount of time they will be required to stay in their seats. Review as many details as you can so they know what to expect. On a long airplane flight, it is definitely worth the money to pay for the in-flight movie, just check in advance to make sure it's one that meets your standards for child-friendly viewing. Take advantage of the times when you're able to move about to take a few walks up and down the aisle. Another way to combat seat-fatigue is to dress the children in very comfortable layers and allow them to remove their shoes.

FOOD, TOO: Have a supply of "snack bags." Ask in advance about available children's meals and order them, but also count on your kids turning their noses up at any commercial food provided, and on them being hungry only when all the food service is finished. Bring favorite snacks, which are low-sugar, and healthy, such as pretzels, dry cereal, popcorn or crackers. Include juice drinks and water bottles. An absolute must is chewing gum and Suckers -- they take a long time to finish and on airplanes help prevent ear pain. (It's OK to break a few regular rules and buy some flavored bubble gum!)

TRAVEL TIME: If possible, travel during your child's "happy" part of the day. Don't count on excited kids, no matter how young, sleeping during a trip. (I once traveled by car, at night, six hours, with my then 2-year-old niece who stayed awake the entire time!)

ADHERE TO ROUTINES: While at your vacation spot, try your best to adhere to your usual nap/eating/sleeping/bath routines. Even though you are in a different location your normal routines will help keep things running smoothly and will be comforting to a child in a new environment.

EXPECT CLINGINESS: Your child may need you to stay close by. That's OK. It's better that you stay closely connected rather than have your child suffer through the strangeness of a new place on his own.

WARN THE RELATIVES: Just because your family has seen pictures of your little tyke since he was a newborn doesn't mean he will be comfortable with them. To a little one these people are strangers. If you can help them understand that he'll need a little time to warm up it will help everyone feel better about the reunion. There's nothing worse than having Aunty Sue pluck the little one from your arms only to have him begin to scream for you.

Excerpts are from Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1000 Parenting Tips, by Elizabeth Pantley, 1999.