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It's Couple Time
Planning a Vacation Without the Kids
By Sue Marquette Poremba
If you have relatives within reasonable driving distance, and you feel comfortable having those family members being alone with your children in your home, invite them for a visit. When my husband and I had the chance to go to New Orleans, my mother, my stepmother and my mother-in-law played tag-team caregivers. None could stay the entire time of our trip, but it worked out that they could each spend two or three days. The kids loved having their grandmothers around, and the grandmothers weren't overwhelmed.
Another option is to rotate childcare with close friends. Chances are your friends would love to escape for a long weekend as much as you would. Offer to take their children for their trip; in return, they'll take yours. As children get older, their friends' parents may be willing to do a similar exchange.
But what if you feel guilty about leaving the kids for a few days? (Or maybe you don't feel guilty about getting away, but you do feel guilty for not feeling guilty!)
A solid marriage provides a foundation for good parenting. Even though you might feel guilty about leaving the kids for a few days, stop to think about how often you've neglected your marriage and felt guilty about that. We all do it – there isn't enough snuggle time with the spouse when you've got kids, a job, a household and activities to worry about. Why do we think it is OK to feel guilty about neglecting our marriage but hesitate to feel guilty about spending a few days away from our kids? While it is true our children won't be small forever, a marriage missing romance won't be around forever, either.
Besides, even if the kids whine about how much they'll miss you and beg you not to leave them, you can be sure that five minutes after you are gone, they'll be giggling and playing, and you'll be a distant memory.
"A vacation from the kids is also a vacation for the kids, who have been able to benefit from our couples-only outings through intensified interactions with grandparents, aunts, uncles and even great-grandparents," says Bill Johnson. "Everyone wins."
"Parents need to remember that a healthy marriage is very important to their children," Smith says. "Maintaining a solid marriage is essential to good child raising within families. By remembering that keeping the marriage strong is one of the best things parents can do for their children, parents can minimize guilt."
